I’m used to it. Being ignored. Being used by people. Being misunderstood. Being hurt. Being the one who should always beg for people to stay. Being forgotten. Being lied by people I care the most. Being left alone. I’m so used to it that I can even hide these pain behind a smile.And just because I’m used to it, that doesn’t mean that I’m also used to the pain it brings. It fucking hurts, even more.
Not a thing is at all special and the nothingness is perfect. I am happy and sad and happy again. Stress only comes from schoolwork and merely abstract stuff. I have my friends, my family, etc. I have this love-to-be-single thing because I already possess nine girl friends who are waaaay better than having one boyfriend. Those stuff are very fundamental to my current identity way back. And then one day, when things are quite what it would seem to be as always… shit! He does his entrance.
Tsk. I learned my lesson. Keep on dreaming about those sweet, clingy relationships because it may not happen now, hopefully it soon will (to me, of course), but they are always and forever the best relationships any girl can possibly have. And yeah, arguments are normal. But nothing except arguments everyday isn’t. Another is that plans will just be plain plans without “little” actions. Even the tiniest will matter.
We go forward.